Things in my brain

In these tough economic times we need a moral booster. If I were running the show I’d make it legal for a person to punch three people a year. Now here me out, January 1st everybody would get a little coupon book in the mail.
It’d read: Good for one free punch. No tag backs.
Picture it. You’re in line at the 10 items or less line. Jimmy McDumbfuck has a cart with 27 items. As he pours his bag of nickels on the counter to pay you punch the shit out of his neck. Jimmy starts to get mad when you present him with your coupon. He grumbles, collects his Slim Jims and walks off. How awesome would that be?!?
No? Yes? Maybe? Well, I’d dig it.

Rachael and I are slowly (oh so slowly) making progress on the Yard-Of-Doom! In our attempts to make the backyard look less evil, we’ve circled the trees in Sand Pebbles. I won’t bore you with the details but basically we spent a Sunday driving back and forth from Lowes, our car loaded down with bags of stone. It’s an odd thing to be in the back seat of your own car while shotgun is occupied by bags of rocks. Stranger still when said rocks are buckled in like a child. (This is what happens when you don’t own a truck, kids.)

Rush Limbaugh makes me sad inside.
During my lunch hour I escape to a local park where my car radio keeps me company. For some reason my car gets very few AM stations. (AM. I know. What can I say? I likes me some talk radio.) For the most part my options are ESPN or Rush.
I’m a sports guy so this usually isn’t a problem. But on occasion I’ll tune into Rush.
Ahh, Rush.
Have you ever seen Hook?
You know that scene where Peter Pan’s little girl frowns at Captain Hook and scolds: “You need a Mommy very badly!” That’s Rush.
Hmm.
Could Rush Limbaugh, Icon of aggression, elitism, and generally unpleasantness in fact be Captain James Hook?!? Hey it makes more sense than Robin Williams being Peter Pan. I must test this theory.
Perhaps I’ll call into the show and hold a ticking clock next to the phone.

--BJS